Why don't I go to bed?

It's 4am. I'm still awake! Not because I can't sleep, but because I can't seem to find the desire or energy to make my way to my bed. Where does this blasted inertia come from?

An infomercial is on in the background. Lost interest in the tv hours ago. Huh. That's a pretty cool mop... eew.

Stewing over the happenings of the evening. My Charlie has been an awful kid lately. Oh, who am I kidding? He's always been that way. :0/ Can't believe nothing has changed; nothing is easier. I just want to kick all of the people who told me that he would outgrow his terrible behavior. They said around 3, he would get easier. Then it was 4. Then 5. He's nearing 6 and he hasn't transformed into the boy I was promised. He's worse! Meaner and stronger are a bad combination. Enrolled him in karate in hopes that he would learn some respect and discipline. Nope. He's just gotten better at hitting and kicking me and his brothers. I've been wondering if they make straight jackets for children!

My dear husband's behavior has gotten worse too. What a great role model. :( Tonight I took Charlie's ninja sword from him; he was hitting everyone with it. David grabbed it from my hand to give it back to the boy! When I grabbed for it to take it back, I poked him in the nose. It was accidental but kinda hard. :0/ Before I could apologize or even look at his face, he knee'd me in the leg. And it hurt. :( I am amazed at how little control he has over himself in these situations. He reacts as if he's being attacked and I just don't understand why. What is it about getting poked in the face that triggers the fight-or-flight response in him?

Later on, I tried to explain to him that he *just can't do that*! Told him that there is a very fine line between freaking out on me -or our children - when he gets hurt and smacking us around just because he's angry. Stated that his actions were unacceptable. He stopped talking. Not sure that I want to stick around for the next escalation.

I'm not really into the Changing the Husband thing, but this has to stop. Don't know how to stop it. Sigh.

Well, I'm really going to go to bed now. Perhaps some sleeping will help me find enlightenment? I can hope :)