How I love you, old friend! We've been through everything together. Painful mornings, long nights, road trips, lazy afternoons, grand get-togethers with mutual friends...
Sadly, though, each time we are together lately, I find myself quite upset by you. :( Regrettably, I feel that we must take a break from one another.
I think it's only fair to inform you that I've been spending more and more time with your sister, Decaf. I enjoy her company much as I used to enjoy yours. She's a bit of a snooze, yes, but she doesn't leave me feeling jittery and exhausted.
I hope that someday soon we can reconnect without any hard feelings.